Cat Run (2011)

A bunch of prostitutes go to a fancy party. Among them is Cat and a friend of hers. Among the guests is an American ambassador. The palatial house is owned by a mean guy named Carver. When the ambassador gets rough and kills one of the girls, all hell breaks lose. Carver decides to kill all the girls. Cat manages to escape.

Next morning while on the run she makes a phone call at a restaurant owned by Anthony. She steals his car and his friend's phone. Around this time the friend, named Julian, proposes they start a private detective business. Anthony eventually agrees. They get an "office" in a porn theater, hire a guy missing 3 limbs as an assistant, and take on the "case" of finding Cat.

Also looking for her is Carver. As it turns out Cat stole a hard drive of his with evidence of all sorts of wrongdoings. He hires a hitwoman Helen, a prim and proper English woman. And she's mean. She and the two morons follow the same trail--Cat's family in Spain, her pimp, and eventually the two find Cat just as Helen finds them all. They barely manage to escape. When Helen fails to do her job, Carver sends a hit-man after her. That causes Helen to join forces with the other 3, who now go after the ambassador and Carver. They crash another one of his parties and violence and the resolution ensues.

This movie is not at all what it seems like. Cat is a very secondary character, and no, she isn't not some action chick. Initially it's all about the two fools chasing after Cat. And they make terrible lead characters. Since they are so weak, the appearance of Helen livens things up considerably, except that she it detestable. Things improve when the Scottish hit-man appears but unfortunately he's there only for a short time. While the characters are lame, the story is alright and the action is pretty good. This movie delights in some of the extremes it shows. The settings in Serbia are pretty neat and interesting. Overall a fairly decent movie that's at times annoying but overall entertaining and action packed.

Fmovies: ...which is a good thing as its the most compelling part of this 1 hour 40 minute plus borefest. Catch that bit and then move on to something else.

IMDb requires ten lines of text so I'll take the rest of this space to write as much as I know about owls. I generally like owls though I rarely see them in the wild. There are white owls, and brown owls, blue owls and red owls. Some owls are large, others are smallish - but not so small as to be a hummingbird.

If I could be reincarnated as a bird I think an owl would be near the top of my list, but it would not be as preferable as an eagle, or a hawk, or a jay..... Overall owls are around an 8 out of 10 as far as my bird rankings go. Cat Run as a film however would be about a 3 out of 10. Montenegro seems like a very nice spot to take a vacation....

Nails + Chalkboard = Razors + Wrists 'Cat Run' has a few funny moments and great Eastern European setting. However it cannot overcome a flawed story and more importantly really really bad actors over acting with dialogue written by a 10 year old boy.

The plot: As improbable as it is, American military industrial tycoon Christopher McDonald (the only professional actor in this film) orders the deaths of ALL the prostitutes at a brothel party after he strangles one of them.

Instead of simply covering up the minor murder of a prostitute during ruff sex, McDonald's private army of tuxedo clad, sub machinegun brandishing henchmen shoot up the entire mansion. (Isn't this going to be far more difficult to cover up?) But the henchmen simply allow hooker with a heart of gold Cat to run away (still in high heels) with a video of the original strangulation.

Enter Americans Scott Mechlowiz and Alphonso McAuley. Since no words can describe the pain of this duo, try to imagine being locked in a steel drum with Pauly Shore and Howie Mandel. Yes, it really is that bad.

For reasons never explained these destitute fools end up successfully tracking the wanted Cat all across Europe from country to country on a seemingly unlimited travel budget.

They also find themselves at odds with the professional assassin and torturer hired by McDonald, to also find Cat. The vicious assassin, Janet McTeer, parades herself as a British nanny. Much like Sylvester Stallone in 'Rhinestone' and Arnold Schwarzenegger in 'Junior.' The fish out of water scenario is so over the top, it's just plain unfunny.

The "plot" also does a complete 180 on us when the sadistic assassin we're supposed to fear and hate for torturing innocent victims to dead, suddenly switches sides and becomes a caring and selfless heroine whom wants to help Cat and crush McDonald.

Of course the mindless heroes mindlessly accept McTeer as their ally, mindlessly forgetting all wrongs.

Sadly, McTeer is the least annoying of the over acting assassins. They're more. Many more. Like a Scotsman whom resembles Fat Bastard from the 'Austin Powers' films. Except, 'Cat Run' is supposed to be and action comedy, not a slapstick comedy. Hence these henchmen all come across as out of place very annoying.

The single biggest nail on the chalkboard is the screenplay itself which seems to be written by a 10 year old boy who thinks any type of vulgarity is funny. It's not! And someone should have stopped this script in its tracks from ever being turned into a movie.

Crude humor can be done well but this script totally ignores the second part, the humor. The vulgarity needs a punch line. A joke cannot be just 4 letters long.

Cat Run fmovies. This is proof that money, gorgeous women, solid acting and beautiful locales cannot overcome a silly, unbelievable story.

The story starts out as a buddy movie with 2 goofy American guys starting a business in Europe. Then, they cross paths with the gorgeous Cat and all hell breaks loose. The focus of the story then changes to another 'bad American govt official in cahoots with ruthless Eastern European arms dealers". And then it gets REALLY silly. And not fun silly. They tried to throw in a few jokes but it is just a muddled mess.

The Un-believability factor is ridiculously high. You'd think that Europeans hear gun shots all of the time and do nothing about it.

But, if there is a reason to see this movie it is Janet McTeer who steals every scene she is in, doing a better impression of Helen Mirren than even Helen Mirren can do. She is cold, ruthless, efficient and believable, to a certain extent.

It started out as a Guy Ritchie type movie, devolves into overblown James Bond type silliness and then the bodies start stacking up like cord wood.

The 2 lowest points are the African American guy doing a Scottish Accent and then later, getting everyone out of a jam by picking up his kilt. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

The 2 main guys are very likable but under used, Paz Vega started out as the star but then acts as scenery, not even DL Hughley can save it in the 90 seconds of screen time he gets.

This could have been a good movie. They spent a lot of money making it. They should have spent more time writing it. This movie is under cooked.

Watch it with low expectations. And enjoy the eye candy. That's it.

"Cat Run" was really an explosive surprise of a movie. I hadn't expected this at all.

The story in "Cat Run" is one of multiple facets. First we have the story of longtime friends Anthony Hester (played by Scott Mechlowicz) and Julian Simms (played by Alphonso McAuley) who team up to make a private investigator company and end up hot on the trail on a rather big case. American senator Bill Krebb (played by Christopher McDonald) is doing shady business in Eastern Europe and is caught on video with prostitutes, a video he doesn't want to go public, and this event was Catalina Rona (played by Paz Vega) witness to. Hired to clean up the loose ends and the mess is professional hit(wo)man Helen Bingham (played by Janet McTeer).

Essentially it is a high-octane thriller of cat-and-mouse chase mixed up with some spy activity, and just the right amount of comedy. And the end result was awesome.

I found "Cat Run" to be incredibly entertaining, both story-wise, action-wise and comedy-wise. This movie had all the ingredients required for a great movie.

The action sequences in the movie were really great, nicely choreographed, and could easily as well have been something right out of a James Bond movie. Thumbs up on that. And thumbs up for Janet McTeer, she was off the charts in the action sequences.

The people cast for the roles in "Cat Run" were doing really good jobs with their characters. Especially Janet McTeer, she was really the driving force behind this movie.

If you like action movies, like spy movies, and like comedy movies, then you definitely owe it to yourself to sit down and watch "Cat Run", because it is well worth it. Great entertainment from start till end.

Contracted assassins, government corruption, high octane action scenes; Cat Run has it all. I thoroughly enjoyed watching this movie as it provided exactly what I wanted out of this flick, entertainment. Recommended to anyone is who seeking an all around great action thriller. It also contains one very gorgeous actress, Ms. Paz Vega(Spanglish), who plays the main character of a beautiful escort. Movie contains elements of comedy, action, slight gore, and of course beautiful women. A must see for anyone who wants to sit down and enjoy a flick and be nothing more than entertained.

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