Witless Protection (2008)

Larry the Cable Guy (Daniel Lawrence Whitney) is an excruciatingly funny stand-up comedian. He knows how to hit a mark. It's obvious he's disciplined enough to fulfill all the requirements of doing a workmanlike job in front of a camera.

Yet.

Doing a movie with this level of scripted awfulness is a witless and heartless crime. Why is stupid acceptable? Why waste "Larry?"

Because there are enough lunkheads who will pay from seven to ten bucks to see this trash in a theatre (we thought we'd take a chance on it, using a Netflix gift membership, so it wouldn't cost us anything).

Witless was the perfect adjective.

And no amount of Jenny McCarthy's skin could make this movie any better.

Fmovies: It is hard to put into words just where this movie failed. But one overshadowing fact does come to mind; it was witless alright.

The comedy in this 2008 movie was just about fully absent, and what little comedy that was to be found throughout the course of this movie was just about as witless as the movie itself was.

I can't claim to enjoy Larry the Cable Guy's comedy, and why he is making movies is just beyond my comprehension. Ivana Milicevic was the one who carried the movie and made it any close to being bearable suffering through this train-wreck of a movie. And how they managed to get Joe Mantegna and Peter Stomare to appear in this movie was just an impressive feat in itself.

I suppose that you have to be a fan of Larry the Cable Guy to enjoy this movie in any way.

A witless hour and a half that deserves a two out of ten stars only given the production value of the movie. The rest of the movie just came and left without a single laugh. This was a wide swing and an even wider miss by director Charles Robert Carner.

Larry the Cable Guy was funny in his Health Inspector movie, but this one is truly dumb and yes outrageously dumb. I do not understand why he was to play a guy named Larry in every single movie. For once just come up with a different first name. The only appealing thing about this terrible movie is looking at Jenny McCarthy, because even though she acted like a complete blue collar piece of trash in this movie, she was still as sexy as she ever was. So basically if I was you I wouldn't waste my time with this movie because it literally belongs on the bottom 100 here on IMDb, because it is just one of those movies that doesn't need to ever be made at all.

1/10

Witless Protection fmovies. Oh, man did I get done watching "Witless Protection" and let me tell you what, it's a piece of crap! I don't understand why Larry The Cable Guy continues to make crappy movies that nobody cares to watch unless you're a redneck or a total idiot. God, helps us if you're up there not playing poker.

I don't know where to begin.

Basically in "Witless Protection" Larry the Cable Guy plays a law enforcer wannabe who's seen too many programs of "Cops" and other police shows in thinking he can be a law enforcer in which he's nothing but one big joke to the community. He ends up kidnapping a foreign babe who's an actual witness and not someone kidnapped.

Larry The Cable Guy is not even cool enough to have his own sitcom or even start his pathetic movie line up of films from "Health Inspector" to "Delta Farce" and they failed more times than films that became cult classics. This film nor will any film featuring Larry the Cable Guy in live action movies will ever be classics, even when he's dead, they'll be burning in the bonfires.

The Good: Nothing! The OK: Jenny McCarthy's hot body.

The Not: EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FILM SUCKS!!! Overall, I have better movies to watch. This wasn't even my fault in watching this movie, it was my dad's fault and he even fell asleep where I just walked away and did something else.

Yup, its slapstick, its over the top. So what? The movie was actually fun and trust me is MONEY's WORTH! I was actually disappointed to see the low rating for the movie here and that's what prompted me to pitch in with a few words of deserving credit. Witless protection had some of the most ingenious and endearing moments which even the gluttonously overpriced films fail to deliver with their pricey star cast. Larry, the cable guy who plays the dumb witted cop running into trouble around every corner is hugely enjoyable and his act believable. Thankfully, the director spared a run-of-the-mill chemistry between the lead pair. So Kudos to the film for making my balmy afternoon at home a time well spent. And, I wouldn't mind watching it a second time around...

This is one of those slight-of-hand smart comedies, which explains why its target audience hated it so much. A bit too intellectual for them.

A lot of the stuff involves dumb gags, silly (and easily seen over-the-top) stereotypes, and the acting is not going to win any awards for comedy or otherwise. But it is all wound up into an enjoyable story and directed well enough that even Eric Roberts is able to handle his role. It also has enough complexity and subtlety to keep it interesting (provided you're able to make it through the first 10 minutes, which really is bad, but does still tie into the story).

Maybe the problem is that the target audience can't handle the memory required to get past the first 10 minutes.