Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Let me first start by telling you that I really wanted to rate this movie a 1/2 star, but the system they have set up here wouldn't allow me too. This movie was one of the top 10 worst movies that I have ever seen before in my "ENTIRE" life. Why? First lets start with the plot, Oh! I'm sorry there was none!!! All I will say is "KEEP YOUR MONEY" this was $15 that I could have spent on something worth while. I actually spent more time looking at my watch than I did the movie, because it was just that awful. Malcom Lee you must really needed the money, because this movie sucked!!! I am so used to seeing very funny skits with the previous scary movies. In my opinion this movie series has been going to the dogs ever since the Wayans Brothers stop contributing to the funny nature of this series. Also, the movie is more sexual in content than I would have liked and I really believe it should have been Rated R instead of PG-13. The acting is very poor in this movie and you would think with the actors that were involved you would have expected it to be very humorous. I cant tell you how long the movie was because after an hour I just couldn't take it anymore so my wife and I walked out of the movie.

Fmovies: It's fair to say that it is the worst of the series, it's let down by some really awful scenes, and some dire performances, but, it still has some of the old magic, and a few times I did find myself laughing. The scene between Sheen and Lohan was perhaps the worst thing I have ever seen, it was appalling, almost like an attempt to replicate the Pamela Anderson scene, but it was just terrible. The Black Swan scenes were lots of fun, and nicely produced, they felt at odds with lots of the film.

Is it the case that people's humour has changed since the early films, or were the jokes simply not funny? Personally I think it's the latter, in fairness though it isn't as if there were great horror movies to parody.

It's poor, but will still give the odd chuckle. 5/10

I really don't know where to even start with this, so let's just get started. This movie is not funny. There you go - it fails as a comedy. In addition to that, it's dumb, mean-spirited, and in poor taste, and I think you're going to agree with me about that even if you like stuff that is in poor taste. I mean, this is basically an exploitation film for weed- and gangsta rap-obsessed 13-year-olds. It covers all the bases: sex scene involving clowns and ponies, sex scene involving pool cleaning machines, dildo collections being found by small children, things getting stuck up dogs' anuses, a scene featuring Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or whatever he insists that people call him now) and a giant blunt, etc. Wow, this is multiplex entertainment in 2013?

I saw the first Scary Movie and thought it was pretty amusing in places. I'm also a huge fan of totally absurd slapstick comedies like Airplane and the Naked Gun movies. What is it exactly that makes this film so awful where the others, at least on some level, succeeded? I can't think of any way to explain it except this: watching Scary MoVie is the film equivalent of eating White Castle sliders for an hour and a half, washing them down with a gallon of Mountain Dew, topping it all off with seven pounds of cheesecake and then doing the Mentos and Coke thing (featured in this film, incidentally) so you can projectile-puke the stuff you just ate all over your friends who were expecting it and think it's funny. Truly, honestly, that's the caliber of stuff you're going to subject yourself to for 90 minutes if you insist on watching this.

The movie tries to make fun of Inception, Black Sawn, Evil Dead, etc., but it seems to me that you have to actually be smarter than something if you want to effectively make fun of it. Instead, they should make a movie that makes fun of all the Scary Movie movies. Honestly, they should be pretty easy targets. This movie does not have the minimum level of intelligence required to comment about anything at all. The best it can do is make "peehole" jokes and try to get the audience to laugh at monkeys flinging poo at the wall. No, it's really not funny.

I'm racking my brains trying to recall if there was anything at all good about this film. I do remember laughing at a couple of the gags. That sex scene with clowns and ponies was actually somewhat amusing - there, I said it. I'm afraid this review is going to come off the wrong way because it sounds like I refuse to watch stuff that pushes boundaries of good taste. Hardly, man. I even liked Videodrome, which Roger Ebert called "nauseating." The real problem is that this film uses boundary-pushing as an excuse to be stupid. In reality, it's about as intelligent as a stoned middle school dropout, incidentally the only type of person I can imagine enjoying this.

I was about to start getting depressed about the state of the world given that this kind of obvious dog dookie is considered entertainment, but it doesn't seem that other people found it all that entertaining either. I watched at least two couples walk out of the theater before the end of the film, so ultimately I'm concluding that there's probably some reason to have hope about the future of this planet. Thanks, Scary MoVie! Not that there's anything to be thankful for except that no one actually came up to me and hit me in the head with a shovel while the film was playing. They'll probably include that in part six.

Scary Movie 5 fmovies. It is almost inconceivable to imagine how much effort a group of people would have to put into making a film as bad as Scary Movie 5. The latest instalment in the series of lazy spoofs, not including some unforgivable side projects including Date Movie and Epic Movie, this film offers virtually nothing to its audience, insulting their intelligence for an hour-and-a-half with perhaps the worst collection of blatantly uninspired and recycled gags ever put to celluloid.

The film's horrendous excuse for a plot centres on a suburban wife (Ashley Tisdale) and her dimwitted husband (Simon Rex) moving into a haunted house with their possessed adopted children. From there, the film brings its staple of parodying the biggest blockbusters of the last few years, but does so without a semblance of relevance, creativity or wit.

It says a lot about the film that the only half-laughs to be had come from Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan sharing the opening scene- an incredibly stupid and borderline cringe-worthy, but inexplicably entertaining chuckle at their fall from grace.

It's all downhill from there, though, as the rest of the film plays out as a series of unconnected set pieces seen literally hundreds of times before. Often, such an unappealing movie is still able to salvage some hope by suiting itself for a target market, but it is hard to see any audience group, from 15 year-olds to stoners, defending this abomination.

One would have to drink Lindsay under the table, smoke copious amounts of bud with Snoop Dogg and/or Lion and snort pure tiger blood with Charlie to even come close to drawing any semblance of enjoyment from this disaster. An imminent sweep of this year's Razzies doesn't seem like ironic punishment enough for one of the worst films ever made.

*There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on jnatsis@iprimus.com.au and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*

The era of spoof and parody is dead.

Let me start off by saying that I knew this film was going to be horrible from the start. I had read reviews and knew it was bad, but being so infatuated with film and theater, I actually wanted to see the movie to diagnose exactly what made it so horrible. (Insult me if you must, but I have a lot of free time on my hands and I love all kinds of movies.)

I'm not gonna lie, I went into the theater with the hope that on some slight chance, I would enjoy the film. Wrong. The movie was so boring and tasteless that I was actually distracted with my phone for some parts during the film, which is of the utmost rarity for me.

The horrible acting and line delivery dried this film out so much that I don't know where to begin. Ashley Tisdale was definitely not as good as Anna Faris was, and obviously, everyone will compare the two. I hate to admit it, but Mac Miller, Snoop Dogg, and Katt Williams all could have made audiences laugh with the material they were given, but were just too dry.

Admittedly, there were some very rare parts of the movie that had a somewhat witty humor to it, but it was only once or twice, and weak at that. The rest of the stupid slapstick humor was just so lame and dragging. Slapstick humor should stay within the PG level of humor for the kids.

On that note, the movie had overly crude, and just STUPID sexual humor that was just stupid and weak. Even hard R teenage sex comedies are more sophisticated than this. I laughed maybe one time, and it wasn't even a laugh. I kinda exhaled sharply while smiling.

Overall, there was almost no sophisticated or witty humor, horrid acting, and it was all just plain bad. So yes, the reviews are correct, it was horrible. The only reason I give it a 3 instead of a 1 was because hundreds and hundreds of people put months and months of work into an 85 minute piece of what they thought was art, and giving a movie a 1 or maybe a 2 is too disrespectful to the art that is film. (But then again, this movie is pretty disrespectful to the art that is film as well.)

I've never written a review before, in fact i've never logged into this before, but i HAD to...just to say this is hands down the worst movie i've ever seen in my entire life, people were leaving the cinema and sadly we stayed hoping and wishing it would improve. It didn't!

You know those kids shows on Disney channel where someone bangs their head and you see kids crying laughing, picture that but even less funny, oh and by the way, constantly through the movie it's people banging their head etc, they've ripped the Disney channel off for comedy and failed, HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE AT COMEDY???

I'm actually angry at the movie, i got home about 15 minutes ago and i haven't stopped swearing since. Seriously don't watch this movie, don't even watch the trailer. If you see it on a bus stop sign graffiti it.