Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006)

At some point the American movie going audience should stand up and tell film studios we will not stand for this garbage anymore. I saw this movie on the tail end of a double feature at a drive-in theater. The first movie was Scary Movie 4 so as many rational people will tell you maybe I was a little jaded before the second feature started. I pondered this question and realized no, this movie is just terrible. It pretty much consisted of a drunk hillbilly running around with out the slightest hint of hometraining. By the way I saw this movie outside of Cincinnati, OH. That night it began to storm pretty bad during the movie. Why do I say this? Because I came so close to wishing it would turn into a tornado and tear the screen away. It was just that bad. I am just sad for Megyn Price. I really enjoyed her in "Grounded for Life," but this mess might have ruined her career. This is the kind of movie that I call a career killer, once an actor does one of these you will never seem them in a respectable film again. See: Chris Rock and "Pootie Tang," or any cast member of "Soul Plane." If you want to see non talent on a screen turn to public access on TV. I strongly advise you save your hard earned money.

Fmovies: Normally when a new bad movie comes out, it usually sky rockets up the bottom 100 list. This is mainly just a trendy thing. You Got Served, Bloodrayne and From Justin to Kelly were among these unlucky ones. Oh sure they were bad movies alright, terrible movies to be blunter. But when you looked at the movies like Red Zone Cuba, Gigli and of course Manos, you couldn't really rate them as that bad.

NOT THIS TIME

Think of the most horrible, hateful put down you could ever attach to anyone and anything and it still wouldn't do Larry The Cable Guy justice. That's right folks. 40 years on and finally, Manos is now the world number two on the chart. This movie is the biggest piece of s**t to ever stink up the theatre. It is so jaw droppingly, blood-boilingly bad that you wouldn't even serve it to your most hated emnemy.

Not only is Larry The Cable Guy the single worst most horrible movie of all time, but it is the spawn of the single worst most horrible idea of all time. The plot involves a series of food poisonings at the city's best restaurants, with the All City Top Chef contest just days away. It's up to Larry and Butlin to figure out who's sabotaging the competition, even if it means taking on the breast-obsessed mayor.

Got that folks? It's another toilet humor film which sucks! And it's another film directed by a first timer (Trent Cooper)! See Deuce Bigalow for reference! In the first five minutes of the redneck comedian's film debut, we see Larry urinating on himself in the shower, flashing his butt crack, having a flatulence attack in front of his boss, and referencing the smell of "strawberry douche." At this point I turn unto God and ask "Why?" Why does Hollywood keep doing this with impunity!

Trent Cooper is only there to keep the movie in focus (he even fails that at times) and to make certain there are enough fart jokes to keep the overlong running time rumbling. Seriously, you could make DVD chapters out of the number of times Larry -- or anybody, really -- makes with the southern thunder. That is how awful this movie is. It can't even save itself with fart jokes.

Larry The Cable Guy is truly the worst movie of all time. It should be driven to a quiet spot, forced to kneel down and be shot through the head. That'll learn it!

NEVER WATCH THIS MOVIE.

I played on a Baptist College baseball team over twenty years ago with Dan "Larry the Cable Guy" Whitney. Even back then he was only a part- time pitcher but a full time clown. I wish he had shifted his focus and concentrated more on his curve ball. If he had then perhaps we would have been spared his first feature length film---"Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector".

As a "starter" project this movie echoes the transitions made by other comedians-- most notably Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura -Pet Detective) and less notably Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigelow-Male Gigolo). However Dan's talent is probably better compared to the late Jim Varney and his alter ego-- "Ernest P. Worrell". Still, I can much more appreciate Varney's eccentric talents than Dan's stubborn assault on our sensibilities by offering repeated renditions of a stock version of a crude redneck character(or has he broadened this into being somehow representative of "blue collar crude" in an effort to pull some of the population living north of the Ohio River into this movie's prospective demographic?)

In "Health Inspector" Dan manages to exhaust most of the material found in his stand up routine. He also comes up with some new bits- most of which are only incidental variations on his old bits. It's true that he does break some new ground also. We get to see Larry in love through an indirect appeal to pathos. But the sum total of this film, in the end, is that it serves as little more than a woeful compilation of "Larry's the Cable Guy's" rather sloppy rise into the national consciousness.

The touchstone for deciding whether or not you should give "Health Inspector" a chance can be found in Dan's signature stage utterance---"Git r Done". If the humor buried in that expression appeals to you ---then by all means check out the movie. But if the phrase leaves you lost, cold and empty---you had best give the film a pass. For my part, I have never been able to translate "Git r Done" into anything that quite registers as "funny" on my tired brain. But I still went and saw the show anyway. After all, like I said --I used to play ball with this guy in school.

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector fmovies. Tune into CMT or Comedy Central. Get the same jokes for free.

I'm a big fan of redneck humor. Jerry Clower is GOD.

But Jerry's real,born and bred.

This cable guy from West Palm Beach by way of Nebraska insults his fans.

I despise Jeff Gordon, whenever he pretends to be a good old boy.

Now picture Jeff Gordon in a flannel shirt, with cut off sleeves. Add about fifty pounds or so.

And get your authentic southern accent by watching the Simpsons cartoon character Cletus.

That's Larry. So long. I hope you enjoy playing Branson.

Boy, was this film awful. I knew nothing about Larry, the Cable Guy until I clicked onto a preview on the web. The preview was hilarious! It was my type of low-brow humor and I thought this is going to be a funny film. However, after I go to the theater and the picture started to play, I felt I was really duped by the trailer. Whereas the trailer was tightly edited to give great timing to the jokes, the film was edited with no regards to proper timing of set-up and punch lines. There were even added scenes in the trailer that didn't exist in the film. This was one of those films that I had to leave early from. I could not take anymore after 40 minutes.

Of all the Blue Collar Comedy actors, Larry The Cable Guy was never one of my favorites, but hey...I figured i'd give this movie a chance since I need a good laugh every now and then. Lets just say that this movie did not enhance my view of him. I wasn't expecting this to be an intellectual film or anything like that. While it did have a few funny parts, I spent most of the time in the theater teetering between pure boredom and annoyance. Unless you enjoy root canals, spinal taps, or anal probes I would avoid this one at all costs. If you need a good laugh I would implore you to rent something like Bringing Down The House or 40 Year Old Virgin. At least it doesn't cost as much and you will actually enjoy what you pay for.