Half Past Dead (2002)

For a man that is not feeling well, this was the perfect no brainer film to help me conquer those sweats and chills. There was unrealistic fighting, a Swiss cheese plot, and characters that we cared nothing for, which allowed me to doze off and still know what was happening. This was a Steven Seagal film, so I wasn't expecting much, but honestly, after several of his film you come to realize that they are all very similar and Seagal has not changed his fighting habits at all over the years. He is still using the same fist moves that made him popular in Above the Law. Why should he change? He is Steven Seagal.

So, take his old-school 1980s fighting techniques and combine it with a modern day rap artist like Ja-Rule (especially after his popularity with DMX in Exit Wounds), and you have the film Half Past Dead. So, let's begin. The fighting was laughable. I think that if a gust of wind hit Ja-Rule he would fly halfway across the room. Also, why did it become increasingly obvious that Ja-Rule was not doing his own fight sequences? Throughout his fighting with Nia Peeples, it is very clear that it is not Ja-Rule. How could a director allow such a blatant error happen in an action film? This is not the only case of action gone wrong. There are several scenes in which bullets defy their projected path and gravity. Also, let us not forget the flying fists of Seagal which had the sounds of some hard hits, but it was very obvious that he was mock fighting with most of the extras. This unrealistic fighting knocked this film from five stars to four stars.

So, let's move past the fighting. What is a good action film without the story to accompany the fighting? Sadly, director Don Michael Paul felt as if there was no story needed. Why bother the audience with a story when we have Ja-Rule and Steven Seagal fighting together on-screen? The plot was riddled with more holes that my high school underwear. It was as if we were not seeing the entire picture, and instead of showing us the director relied on words to tell us. Some examples of what I mean are how Sasha and Nick first met. I needed to see this. Without this story and seeing their trust be born, it became less emotional when it was broken. I didn't care, I needed to know more about them. The side-story about Seagal's wife was just filler. He has these visions of her that help him live after a gun battle, but that is all we know about her. When I first saw this scene, I thought it was going to be a major influence in the film. Sadly, I believe that was the last mention of the wife. The Prisoner's story with the gold was horrible. I didn't know enough about the guy to make me see the evil in his ways. This ultimately led to an unclimactic ending with this Prisoner. Does anyone really know who Morris Chestnut's character was? How did he get the money to finance this operation, and how did he become the inside man? I needed answers of which Don Michael Paul was not willing to provide. The lack of story and weakness of the main characters knocked this film from four stars to two.

Finally, I would like to comment on the title. What does it mean? Was it a reference to the time when Sasha almost died, or is it a reference to the lack of caring about life from Ja-Rule and the inmates (remember his line, 'Tonight is a good time to die'). I don't know. This led me to the ultimate conclusion about this film. The director just didn't care. He was happy to have Seagal and Ja-Rule signed on, so everything else became second fiddle.

Fmovies: The story is a cool concept, but the choices for the acting's sake weren't cool at all. Ja Rule was an ignorant cocky character but Seagul was actual very likable. I felt as though this film doesn't get the respect it deserves because Steven Seagul was in it. The dialogue was mediocre, some parts though were really random though. The scene where "Twitch" blows up the door seemed dumb. As well as the scene where Steve and Morris fight in the chains. And did anyone else notice that no one ever hit the bullets they shot? Anyway, the female who played the Supreme Court Justice member was actually enjoyable to watch.

All in all, Half Past Dead is just mindless fun, pretty good.

7/10

Half Past Dead Oh Yes! It's actually called Half Past Dead! By the time i'd finished laughing at the title of this ridiculous Seagal movie it was nearly finished. Dutifully i rewound and started again. I should warn you, should you watch the film after seeing the box, the name "steven seagal" or the hilarious title, it is spectacular. If you don't laugh out loud at the maliciously bad acting on display, the plot's definitely gonna make you laugh. The stunt work is fine as usual, but the action scenes despite their groovy slow-mo, are completely flat and boring. why would you ever care about characters so detestable as these? seagal can't act, but now he's old he can't even fight. But to surround him with a bunch of c-list rappers and card board cut outs is unforgivably bad.

Half Past Dead fmovies. I was meant to see this movie when it came out, but there was'nt much time for me. Anyway after renting it and watching the movie, I thought it was a pretty good film. Steven Seagal that he still has a few tricks up his sleeve, though there was'nt much fighting but the action scenes were enough for me to be satisfied. I usually find Ja Rule over rated when it comes to rapping, but as an actor he impressed me and I hope he continues on making more movies, especially kurupt. Morris Chestnut did a fine job playing the villain and Nia peeples was a did great playing Morris' sexy sidekick. However this movie is no match for " Exit wounds", " Glimmer man" and "Cradle 2 the grave", but it is still worth a look. THUMBS UP!

Say what you will about this movie, but it pleasantly surprised me. Sure, it has millions of cliches and isn't very original, but it was a good movie, in my opinion. Ja Rule and Seagal worked well together. There was actually some emotions in a Seagal movie, that shocked me by surprise. Pretty good action sequences and lots of gunfire and explosives, what more can you expect out of an action film. Don't believe all the negative reviews until you've seen it. You will either love it or hate it, but at least give it a view before you knock it. 7 out of 10 stars for me.

Yeah, a long time ago it turned into a tourist attraction. Now it's a prison again. Kind of. Well, it's more like an airport mixed together with a junior high school but there are lots of guys running around wearing orange jumpsuits, so I guess in that way it's like a prison. Not really though. When Sasha, Steven Seagal's character, is being admitted into prison, he's standing shackled in line and wanders over to a different line so he can talk to his friend, like he's in line for the security check at the airport. Then before too long he and his friend are throwing punches, smacking around a couple of security guards.

Let me tell you something. You assault a corrections officer in a federal prison, they'll shoot you on the spot. Ja Rule would have been shot about 30 times before he threw his second punch. Oh, and there are guys wearing beanies and bandanas and whatnot. In prison. Federal prison.

You can't dress like that at most high schools in America.

Speaking of Ja Rule, I have to say that the person who probably enjoyed his performance more than anyone else on earth, including Ja Rule himself, had to have been 50 Cent. Just before I watched this movie I saw one of those shows on TV about the greatest celebrity feuds ever, and like number 7 or 8 was this rivalry between 50 Cent, who had lived the thug life for real, and Ja Rule. Who had not. Every time I saw Ja Rule on screen the only thing I could picture was 50 Cent laughing his ass off. Ja Rule looks like a rowdy 9-year-old every time he appears on screen.

Anyway, getting back to the plot. It's funny. Sasha is an FBI agent working undercover and he agrees to let himself be sentenced to prison so he can get behind the criminal organization. He's sentenced to five years, and that old line between determination and stupidity instantly vanishes. Nothing else in the movie matters after that, it becomes a meaningless string of action sequences, most of which aren't even well choreographed.

Oh, how about this, a helicopter crashes through the roof of "New Alcatraz" at one point, accidentally freeing all of the inmates. And what do they do? They all run out of their cells and play basketball in the middle of the cell block. Without so much as a basket. They had a ball, but it doesn't matter. The scene is so stupid they might as well have been playing hopscotch.

So some guy is being sentenced to be the first person ever to be executed in Alcatraz's state of the art execution chamber, evidently not for stealing $200 million dollars in gold, but for not telling where it was hidden once he was caught.

Hey, good thinking, people. If you can't get information out of someone, kill them. That's a great way to learn the truth! So some gang breaks into the prison planning to stop the execution and get the location of the $200 million for themselves.

Oh and the $200 million is in gold bricks. I doubt they thought ahead to how difficult it would be to turn that into exchangeable currency.

There's also the issue of the warden at the prison. He's some tough-talking vato who thinks he's a hardcore chollo from the barrio, which reminds me of a joke. I saw this comedian once talking about people in California who talk all tough calling each other ese and homes and all kinds of other such nonsense. These people go to Mexico, the comedian says, and they're like, "Oh my god! People LIVE there? That's like, a total shack!"
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