From Justin to Kelly (2003)

After reading many a statement online that From Justin To Kelly even surpasses the demonpsawn show that spawned it for being devoid of talent, I just had to see the horror for myself. Sadly, obtaining the DVD outside of America is quite a feat in itself. In point of fact, the film has never seen so much as the light of day outside of the States, which is a very bad sign in itself. Released at a time when the American Idol program had just gotten started with saturating us in its contestants' sameness, From Justin To Kelly is elegant proof that the smaller the budget, the bigger the fallout when your film fails to make it back. Produced on a mere twelve million dollars, FJTK presented us with an endless array of stupid dance sequences, stupid songs, and an incredibly stupid plot to string it all together. I guess they wanted to prove that William Hung was not the worst possible thing that could come out of the herd conformist display that is Idol. In order to spare you some agony, I will now try to recount the plot.

FJTK begins with Kelly performing a number in a Texan bar, to the delight of what appears to be the only audience member. When finished, she is approached by friends to go on a trip with them to Florida for Spring break. Characterisation is not exactly a strong suit for this film. Kelly's accomplices consist of Bland Black Girl and Anorexic White Girl Who Feels Compelled To Steal Any Guy Whom Kelly Develops An Interest In. With friends like those, who needs a personality? Anyway, things take a turn for the worst when Justin, accompanied by slightly less bland but even more daft friends, arrive at the same beach. The first of many mass song and dance numbers ensues, and thus we get the first of many strange face-pulling contests. At one point in this beach musical number, Kelly looks as if she is going to distend her jaw and devour Justin whole. Professional actors these ain't. Of course, even an eighty-minute film cannot keep going without some semblance of a plot, and what a doozy FJTK offers.

Much of the plot in FJTK concerns itself with the fact that Justin wants Kelly, Kelly wants Justin, and Kelly's anorexic friend wants to keep them apart for some reason. Well-scripted this ain't. Coming off as an extended episode of one of those family sitcoms that enjoyed a brief revival in the 1990s, FJTK barely has enough plot to sustain twenty-three minutes. So a lot of padding with musical numbers takes place. The thing with musical numbers in film is that there needs to be a logical progression from the dialogue into the music. When characters burst into song at the drop of a hat, it is jarring, and generally lessens the impact. And that is probably the biggest of the problems FJTK faces. Not only are the musical numbers insipid and bland, they also have no logical flow from the rest of the film. The plot literally comes to a standstill whilst the characters sing, dance, and pull the kind of faces people usually make in order to deliberately ruin shots. The words "cash in" spring to mind.

Fortunately, FJTK did accomplish one task. It sorted out the genuine talent from the hangers-on where American Idiot was concerned. With the film all but buried, Kelly Clarkson put it all behind her and concentrated on a recording career. Not that I would go out of my way to listen to her recordings, but she at least seems to be branching out and exploring a wider variety of material. Justin Guarini, on the other hand, seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth, which is probabl

Fmovies: This is a poor attempt to capitalize on the popularity of the American Idol show. Unfortunately they chose to use the people rejected from the show as cast. Save the ticket fee this one comes out on video in July. Or you can keep an eye on the Late, Late, Late Show, you will see this one with its twin Glitter.

I was forced to go see this with a friend for her birthday. I knew it would be dumb but thought that it would at least be something to laugh at. It was one of those rare movies that is too bad even for perverse entertainment. As it began I thought well the story will be stupid but maybe it will have good songs. The songs were the worst part! The transitions into these musical numbers were so awkward. And the songs themselves were not remotely entertaining. Kelly comes off as likable in the movie but I grew to despise every other character in the space of 15 minutes. I don't see this becoming a cult classic. It also made me feel relieved that I never went to Florida for Spring Break. Kelly Clarkson is a sweet girl but she should stick to singing and get a new agent.

From Justin to Kelly fmovies. Unlike some of the entries in the endless parade of crap reviewed on this site, you might actually have heard of "From Justin to Kelly: The Tale of Two American Idols". This name recognition could potentially raise two problems. First is the prospect that you might already be familiar with the movie and thus take issue with something incorrect I might write. This differs from a review of "Idiot Vampire Movie #277" or whatever other nonsense I write about, where only four people on the planet have seen the movie in its entirety and I could have written the entire thing using a Ouija board without anyone knowing better. The second problem might be that you have actually seen the movie and so this review is redundant. Of course, anyone who watched this movie probably had enough pent up self loathing that they have already ridden the vein pain train in a lukewarm bathtub. In which case, congratulations on being dead! It is obvious you didn't quite make it into Heaven, which has a standing gag order against anything related to "American Idol". Better luck next time.

What do you get when you take two flash-in-the-pan celebrities from a reality TV show and fling them in front of a camera without any lessons in screen acting, line reading, or simulating basic human emotion? "From Justin to Kelly" decided to find out. I suppose it's fitting that one of the worst shows on television today would have managed to spawn a Hollywood film that manages to raid the lint traps of sheer ineptitude so severely that it makes "Battlefield Earth" look like a sci-fi epic for the ages. Not only could neither Justin nor Kelly act their way out of a paper bag, but they wouldn't be qualified to deliver bag lunches to the other soap actors on set. Thankfully, one half of the dynamic duo has already returned to blissful obscurity. We can only hope this movie will soon follow. I am not sure if this movie is taking place in an alternate timeframe where Kelly was never discovered and instead was forced to perform to audiences numbering in the single digits, or if it's supposed to take place in 2007 when the same will probably be true.

I suppose I can't fault the producers of "American Idol" for wanting to make another quick buck off their inexplicably popular TV show. Nor can I really fault two okayish singers lucky enough to land a starring role in a movie out of the blue because they weren't as horrible as everyone else. Someone has to be responsible for this mess, though, and I guess the most obvious blame falls on the people who voted Justin and Kelly into their positions as the final two American Idols: namely, the American public. This is all your fault, jerks. You should be ashamed.

This movie is terrible because it was made 40 years too late. The American Idol hype fueled the studios ambition to crank out a quick blah blah story about Justin and Kelly. The end result, a soup sandwich with no audience. The fact that what works on television doesn't always work on the "big screen," is true in the case of From Justin to Kelly. The production value is professional and many of the dance numbers took long hours and hours to practice and to get right. Still, nobody cares. The movie itself (on paper) was a joke to begin with. There are only a handful of lines worth hearing through this 90 minute movie. The rest can be considered pop-culture junk or better yet, left overs that nobody wants to have for dinner.

Couldn't believe my eyes at this shameful, pathetic excuse for a movie. It isn't even a movie, just an excuse for the producers to squeeze a few extra dollars out of last year's American Idol finalists. I feel sorry for director Robert Iscove; not because I think his films are any good, but because this movie will permanently discredit him as a director. 1/10, and that's only because there's no '0' option.