The Lords of Salem (2012)

I've never been a huge fan of Rob Zombie. There's something so sophomoric and immature about his writing style as if he's a 13 year old boy amusing his friends by dropping f-bombs and playing The Misfits. There doesn't usually seem to be a lot below the surface of his film, but imagine my surprise when I watched Lords of Salem and found myself loving every bizarre minute of it.

Zombie has dispatched of the white trash and "edgy" characters that typically populate his films and has given us a mature, stylish, and remarkably unsettling witchcraft story that feels like it could have been made my some European auteur in the 70's.

From the very first scene, Lords of Salem pulls us in with a disturbing prologue featuring a terrifying performance by Meg Foster (who goes for broke) as the head of a coven of witches. She vows to control all the women in Salem. Years later, a DJ plays a mysterious record on the air that ends up doing just that - controlling all the women of Salem to do the witch's bidding.

Lords of Salem is a surreal, nightmarish, and bizarre film that I'd compare to the works of Kubrick, Russell, Fulci, and Argento. It has a few missteps here and there, but it's a satisfying and unforgettable film.

Fmovies: I can start by saying, at least at times this movie was a visual treat. I can't say all the time, though. The majority of this movie was Sheri wandering around aimlessly from location to location, where the script highlighted her laughably bad acting. I can't say she is by any means a bad actress, this movie just never gave her an opportunity other than to sleepwalk. Sleepwalking is probably the best way to describe this film, which takes a rather interested premise and manages to bore the death out of everyone with it. Literally the only saving grace is the orgasmic last 1/6th of the movie, without it this score would've been borderline 1. Also, I will add, for a musician to be making this film, I expected a far greater soundtrack.

Where did this go wrong? First thing comes to mind is the decision to make this a feature film. This film had about as much content as a short film, and if it would've stuck to this route, IMO, it would've been much better. The film almost consists of entirely filler. The first time we are introduced to the Salem witches it is a visual treat, the 10th time it has long warn thin. I'm just wondering why Hollywood can't seem to make a witch movie right. The Craft is usually pointed to, but upon second viewing the Craft is nothing special. Don't bring up Hocus Pocus, either. It seems that witch movies tend to be so poorly done, and it is such a shame. I really wanted Lords of Salem to bring something new to the table.

What we got instead was every horror cliché in the book, terrible acting, horrific soundtrack, filled with at least an hour of pointless filter.

This film far from accomplishes what it set out to do, though, I must admit, towards the end I had a smile on my face. It was a sad reminder of exactly what this film could've been. 4 out of 10.

I really can't express my thanks enough to Rob Zombie for making this movie. It is it perfect? Really damn close. I really can't understand how some of the viewers 'didn't get it'. A better question, would be, "how could you miss it"? This move is to the Satanic 'arthouse' genre what '1,000 Corpses'and 'Devil's Rejects' was for grindhouse. Basically the genre done correctly by a Master. If you always had a taste for the Satanic 'arthouse' films of the '70's but always felt that it could have been so much more, don't miss "The Lords of Salem", it is the definitive expression of the genre. Bravo Mr. Zombie, and thank you for making this film.

The Lords of Salem fmovies. Since he transcended from the realm of Rockstar to Film Auteur with "House of a 1000 Corpses", Rob Zombie has had mostly a love-hate relationship with his fans. And with his latest release, "Lords of Salem", Zombie, proves that this will be much of the same. Despite the fact that this time around, Zombie is completely thinking outside the norm of what has been his filming style and technique. Where before he set out for a certain shock value, with "Lords" Zombie has given us a very atmospheric, almost trippy film that borrows elements from such other masters of horror as Cronenberg, Polanski and Lynch.

If "Lords of Salem" was made in the 1970's (perhaps even as late as 1981) then it would have been hailed as an iconic horror film, much in the same way as such other greats of the genre of that time, as Dario Argento's "Suspiria", "Rosemary's Baby" or even that of Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining". Sadly, however, the film finds life in 2013 where most of the audiences that will go and see it will neither understand or have the patience for Zombie's latest creation.

We find ourselves following along the life of DJ Heidi Hawthorn (aka Heidi LaRox), played by Sheri Moon Zombie, living life in Salem, Massachusetts, as night time radio's hottest DJs. When One night after a show with her cohorts and hosts Herman 'Whitey' Salvador (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Herman Jackson (Ken Foree), Heidi receives an old wooden box containing a vinyl record and a note saying it is from the band The Lords. Heidi takes the box home, and while she and Whitey are hanging around Heidi's apartment, Whitey plays the record. The music is mostly made up of string instruments being played in some strange rhythmic beat. The music, however, invokes a vision of days past for Heidi (and that of Salem) who sees what happens to a coven of supposed "real" witches back in the days that would get you killed for practicing or even being accused of witchcraft. The next night Herman puts the record up for the typical radio gig of Smash or Trash, dubbing the band The Lords of Salem. However, those women that are descendants of Salem that are listening to the show are hypnotized by the sound; stopping what they are doing entranced. Much in the same-way Heidi was the night before. Unaware at the time, the music triggers something inside Heidi that sends her spiraling out of control as she begins to see and deal with things that can not possibly be real.

Like many 70's films of the like, and while the film is set in modern day it has a definite 1970's feel to it, Zombie does as little as possible in the way of character development. Just giving you the bare essentials (Early in the film we see Heidi taking shots with her co- hosts after the job only later to find out that she is a recovering junkie. A fact sort of come into play later in the film.) of back-stories for them. Replaced instead with more back-story when it comes to plot. Although, that does not take away from the film. Zombie gives just as much as needed and doesn't get bogged down in useless or over dialogued scenes. Which is good. While I do not mind (as others) that Zombie puts his wife Sheri in all his films, her acting is quite limited, and at times with this film it is painfully so. As Zombie stretches Sheri Moon's acting ability and is a far cry from what she has done before. Zombie also has abandoned the shaky, hand-held almost documentary style of camera

When it was first announced that Rob Zombie was working on another movie, I was thrilled, as I had thoroughly enjoyed his previous movies, and as I am also a big fan of his music. And it was with great expectation that I followed the bits and pieces of information leaked/released about the movie up until it was finally released.

And now having seen it, I sit here with my expectations and hopes totally shattered. The movie was mostly an odd mixture of bits and pieces of incoherent imagery that had the usual Rob Zombie trademark touch to it, yes, but in overall the story got lost along the way in the imagery. And as such, the movie was a rather dull experience.

Storywise, then it wasn't particularly captivating or innovating. The story is about Heidi Hawthorne (played by Sheri Moon Zombie) who receives a strange record at the radio station where she works together with Herman 'Whitey' Salvador (played by Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Herman Jackson (played by Ken Foree). The haunting tune on the record opens up to the dark and sinister past of the witching era of Salem, unleashing power that were better left in the past.

Out of the entire cast, then I think it was actually Bruce Davison (playing Francis Matthias) who did the best job, and made the most memorable impact with his acting. The rest of the cast did good enough jobs, but it just didn't fully shine through.

Don't get your hopes up too high, unless you are into weird imagery that doesn't necessarily need to have a solid supporting story to be interesting. But, personally, I wasn't entertained by this movie, and I actually had my smartphone out at a point and was playing Jewels Star.

I suppose everyone throws a swing and a miss every now and then, and for me, then this was one such instances from Rob Zombie.

Before I begin my review, I should probably start by saying that I'm actually quite a big fan of Rob Zombie the musician (including White Zombie), and I also liked his first two movies (House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects) very much - and I hated the first Halloween-remake so much, that I didn't even want to see the second one he directed, which allegedly should be even worse.

So, with that in mind, here's my review: The film is about a young, trendy rock-radio DJ, Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie), who suddenly finds herself in the middle of an occult Satan-worshiping witchcraft scheme, because her ancestors did something bad 400 years ago or something.. She's sent an old, crusty LP, which she (of course) plays on the radio, even though it's just a bunch of creepy, monotonous notes, played over and over again, giving all the local women in the town zombie-like headaches.

Now, this isn't just all there is to the story, but it just as well might have been, as the plot doesn't really seem to develop much from that point on. The movie is all about setting a mood, showing creepy images, and basically just making the viewers generally uncomfortable - which it actually succeeds doing. I felt bad watching this, but strangely attracted to it at the same time.

The cast is pretty good actually, with Jeff Daniel Phillips and Ken Foree as the other two radio-hosts, and Bruce Davison as the historian who tries to get to the bottom of this whole witch-thing going on. The problem is just, that the movie doesn't really go anywhere with it's plot, and it's not really a slasher-movie or exorcism-movie, which you could expect. It's purely about making you feel miserable, and that's not (always) a good thing.

Oh, by the way... if you're expecting to see a lot of Sid Haig and Michael Berryman, think again, as they've only got small non-talking, not-interesting cameos. Meg Foster is pretty good as the witch-"queen", though.