Here on Earth (2000)

..that separate good, memorable movies from movies like this. Its not entertaining, touching, funny, interesting and at times feels a little sub-human. The principals act like they are other-worldly, in the worse way, when they are supposed to be relating to each other and the audience.

Starts out conventionally enough. Rich kid gets new car for graduation but the dean says he can't have the car until after the ceremony. Goes joy-riding nonetheless, and stops in the diner on the wrong side of the tracks for a quick argument with the local yokels. Wise-asses the waitress/girlfriend of the head yokel. Shockingly, they play chicken until they accidentally burn down the diner they left three minutes earlier (aren't all diners five feet from the gas station?).

They told they have to Pay The Price in court, so the only reason to get this 'fish out of water' to stay in town is to come up with the scenario that both boys have to assist in the rebuilding of the diner. Worse than that, the rich kid in staying with the family of the un-rich kid..in the room above the attic. That 'room above the attic' has rescued many a person in need of a bed..

Rich kid inexplicably is treated well by the girlfriend, who never mentions to him that he nearly killed her. This does not bode well, of course, with her boyfriend, and is never fully explained. You don't know why Sam (Leelee Sobieski) falls for Kelley (Chris Klein), or why Jasper (Josh Hartnett) allows it.

Chris Klein is tolerable, Leelee completely intolerable, and Josh does not register much of an impression. The character with the most life is the judge that sentences Kelley and Jasper to help re-build the diner. She gets off at least one funny remark, which is more than anyone else does. Everyone is so morose and humorless that you will feel a little sill if you even think of smiling while the movie is on.

The ending is one way to end the piece, not the most original, but at least it was over. I don't enjoy trashing a movie that some little girl somewhere in the world might really love, but since I am not one, I have to. The nicest thing I can say about this movie is that its not mean-spirited, and although it fails to compel, its innocence and home-spun, corny dialogue comes from a nice place. 4/10.

Fmovies: ...but it only took one to write Here On Earth (2000).

PLEASE DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE.

This movie is horrible. North Korea could use this film to torture dissidents. The acting is rigid, the dialogue predictable, the plot unoriginal but still contrived... I wouldn't watch this again if someone paid me. I'd rather slam my skull against a brick wall than watch this again. I'd rather drown in a vat of bleach than watch this again. I'd rather watch Gigli or North or anything starring Chris Farley.

This movie should have been categorized "Horror". The only thing romantic about this film is the credits. I've seen more chemistry in a jug of water. Drama is calling out dialogue before the actors do, just to see how often I can get it right, except that drama requires conflict and I just kept getting the dialogue right.

I saw a trailer for this movie and was very intrigued. While none of the actors were "stars" at the time it was made, they're all very talented and I had high hopes this would be something unique and entertain that I would tell my friends to watch.

I'd get thrown in front of a train if I recommended this to any friends. If you can't find the DVD, check a furniture store. I think they're using them as shims on the short leg of a table. Hospitals are using it to teach amputees to run.

This isn't even something that makes a fun drinking game. It's just a BAD movie. The acting is especially awful when one considers how talented many of the players are. Writer Michael Seitzman also wrote North Country, a movie I'll now be avoiding like the plague.

I think "The Plague" was a working title for Here On Earth.

This is director Mark Piznarski's only feature film, his credits including television shows, TV movies, and the sixth director for a documentary about drying paint. I wonder how he can sleep at night.

No animals were harmed in the making of this film, but many reputations were.

2 out of 10: It's. Just. Bad. Please don't watch this.

This movie was one of the worst I have ever seen. There were so many problems with both the story and the actors that it's unbelievable that someome actually gave the go-ahead to release it. For starters, the story is lame. It is a movie based entirely on a love triangle with three unlikable characters; consequently, no one cares who ends up with who. This story moves at a snail's pace, at some points almost impossible to watch. The audience is supposed to identify with Samantha, a small town waitress who is bored with her life and her nice-but-not-so-bright boyfriend, Jasper. I can understand that. However, it's impossible to feel sorry for this girl, or understand her actions, because of the way she shamelessly chases after the rich spoiled jerk, Kelly, who looked down on her, her boyfriend, her family, and her town because they were poorer, AND the horrendous way she treats her longtime boyfriend. She runs around with Kelly, making out with him in public, right in front of Jasper's best friend, all without having the decency to tell Jasper she's cheating on him, then callously dumps him, telling him flat out she'd rather be with his enemy, then leaves him to for all she knows commit suicide or beg in the streets or whatever, because if she doesn't hurry, Kelly will leave without her. So Kelly and Sam both prove to be selfish and uncaring of who they hurt. Jasper is the only mildly likeable character, but even he is hard to watch, drooling after undeserving Sam is as bad as Sam drooling over undeserving Kelly. And by the time the climax comes, Sam is so unlikeable you just really don't care what happens to her.

Finally, this weak plot may have worked(not likely, but possibly) if they had chosen some different actors. Leelee is a talented actress- in supporting roles. She has neither the charisma nor talent to carry a movie- especially a weak plot like this one. And Chris Klein (Kelly) does a great job with comedy, but he lacks the talent to make Kelly anything more than a one dimensional shallow rich guy. Josh Hartnett did okay, but wasn't given very much to go on. Jasper also comes across very one dimensional.

The producers/directors/whoever was in charge clearly did not read the script, but was just counting on the casting of 2 popular heartthrobs and the soundtrack by teen idol Jessica Simpson to make this movie a success for the 12-18 female demographic. Let's hope that's what they were shooting for; if they were trying to do anything else they failed miserably.

Here on Earth fmovies. All I have to say is that this movie is the bomb. You are going to cry when you see this. I mean, this is a reminder for everyone how hard and easy it is to fall in love. It reminds you of the days during your youth when you were carefree and everything that was bad for you was washed away with a single kiss. Even though I am still a teen, this is how I live my life. When I am with that certain someone, everything that was negative in my mind was erased. So, I give this movie a 10 for it's heartfelt message and touching plot. Actors Josh Hartnett and Chris Klein I also give a 10 for having a cute face.

This film is a genuine five-hanky tearjerker that slathers on the schmaltz thick as marmalade. The story begins with a rivalry between a group of prep school boys and local townies that have a reckless car race that ends up burning down a local diner and gas station. The judge sentences the two drivers to a summer of community service rebuilding the diner. Kelley (Chris Klein) is a spoiled rich boy with attitude. Jasper (Josh Hartnett) is a local hick with a good heart and a bad temper. Needless to say, the two boys hate each other. To complicate matters, Jasper's girlfriend Samantha (Leelee Sobieski) is developing a serious case of the hots for Kelley. They begin an affair complete with dewy looks, running through fields, stolen glances and every other schmaltzy film technique ever invented.

The prep/townie rivalry escalates into a love triangle with all the foreseeable showdowns and confrontations. Just when everyone is working themselves into a good lather it is discovered that Samantha is seriously ill. Pass the Kleenex.

The film has some very sweet moments but the story is far too formulaic and predictable. It has the feel of a TV movie, which is not surprising since director Mark Piznarski has mostly TV projects on his resume. To his credit, the cinematography was beautiful and his choice of locations was superb. The overlook scenes were particularly lovely.

Chris Klein gave an adequate performance, but was not very dynamic and a little stiff. I felt that he was much better in `American Pie' playing a more sincere character. He seems like too nice a guy to play this spoiled and arrogant rich kid. Leelee Sobieski was a good choice for Samantha. She comes across as very vulnerable and sweet. She was adept at capturing the delicate teenage balance between tentativeness and determination. I actually liked Josh Hartnett better than I did Klein. Perhaps he was better suited for his character, but he seemed a lot more believable as Jasper.

This is a great chick flick. It is sentimental, romantic, endearing and sad. Guys are likely to spend most of the movie writhing in their seats. Unfortunately, it wasn't very original and suffered from too many clichés. I rated it a 6/10. Add one or two points if you like sentimental romances and another if you like a movie that makes you cry. A good film for girls' night out.

My small town local theatre didn't get it in. Instead they opted for a comedy. I chose to go instead, to the next town over and see this. It was well worth it. This is a very touching story with enough humour to lighten the mood. Chris Klein is a wonderful actor and really played his part well. The man brought tears to my eyes. Leelee Sobieski was as good in this as she was in Joan of Arc. Josh Hartnett who plays her small town (boy)friend was so sweet you almost wanted him to get the girl. The 3 actors have very bright futures ahead of them. As long as they choose their roles as wisely as they chose these.