Halloween II (2009)

It was quite the dilemma deciding whether Halloween II was a good film or a bad one. One thing is certain: it's a "weird" film, undoubtedly the most bizarre major studio release of the year. Rob Zombie's sequel or "vision" – as it's being touted – seems to have been envisioned with the aid of various hallucinogenics and mind-altering substances, withering away whatever was left of the original John Carpenter Halloween mythology after Rob Zombie's remake and leaving a nonsensical, uber-violent mess in its wake. This isn't a so-bad-it's-good movie, nor would I call it a just-plain-bad one; this is a so-weird-it's-good movie, a blood-drenched collage of absurdities and irrationality, which like a train wreck (a term some would use to refer to previous Zombie efforts), is hard to look away from. Little of the iconic original Halloween is left here – all that's left is Michael Meyer's mask, which itself is less recognizable beneath the grime and torn pieces – but perhaps it would be foolish to try to match the original masterpiece anyway. Zombie has crafted something entirely different; something quite frankly silly, dumb and, for lack of a more politically correct term, "retarded", but nonetheless entertaining, not in spite of, but because of this.

Picking up where the remake left off, Halloween II sees Laurie Strode recovering from her ordeal with psychopath Michael Meyers. Mentally-traumatized after both the Halloween day massacre of nearly everyone she knew and her own dispatching of Meyers – by way of shot to the head -, Laurie finds herself dreading the one-year anniversary of the serial killings, plagued with the irrational fear that the deceased Meyers will return to small-town Haddonfield to finish her off. Well, low-and-behold, Meyers is alive, and he makes it his mission to track down Laurie and finish what he started.

The general plot outline is as generic as can be, but it's hard to fathom or comprehend the insanity that occurs. Michael Meyers, the original mask-wearing soulless psychopath, the "pure evil" murderer, the "Big Cheese" of all horror movie villains, has now been transformed into a homeless vagrant who randomly eats dogs. Yep, that's right, he's a hobo that eats dogs now. When a film is remade, one expects some alterations, but this is akin to remaking Indiana Jones and turning him an extraterrestrial who molests children. There is practically no semblance of the original character...and the new ones just messed. As well, Meyer's is followed by his deceased mother, himself in child-form and a gigantic white horse, seemingly all figments of his imagination. Except they interact with Laurie as well...making them ghosts? Except Meyers isn't deceased, so it makes absolutely no sense for there to be a ghost version of him. Maybe Laurie is inexplicably psychic and seeing into Meyer's mind? Or maybe Zombie just ate a few too many shrooms. Either way, this mom-boy-horse trio follows Meyer's around as he kills various victims, instructing him on what to do next. It's as stupid as it sounds.

Dr. Loomis has also been changed significantly. The remake hinted at Loomis profiteering slightly off the Meyers incident, but here it has been taken to ridiculous proportions. He's now a prima donna celebrity who travels around in a jet black limo with his publicist, throws hissy fits at reporters and threatens to beat on woman. One sequence has Dr. Loomis appearing on a talk show

Fmovies: I don't know where to begin after coming in from seeing Rob Zombie's Halloween II. The comments/reviews that I've read so far sum it all up perfectly. It's bad beyond belief. It's not scary or suspenseful. There are just back to back ugly, mean-spirited, and brutal killings. The main characters aren't likable at all especially Scout Taylor Compton as Laurie Strode. We cared for and wanted to see Jamie Lee Curtis survive every time she played Laurie. Compton is so bad, she should have been the first to get wiped out. There is no real story either, just ideas and visuals ripped from Freddy, Jason, and Leatherface plus other stuff that must have come from cocaine and or meth usage. Think of the worst Nightmare, Friday, Texas Chainsaw, or SAW volume you've viewed. I guarantee that this is worse. Zombie should start paying people like Sam Raimi, Wes Craven, Sean Cunningham and others to ghost direct his films. Uwe Boll could do a better job.

This movie has badly damaged the Zombie brand of horror movie. I liked Rob Zombie's earlier slasherhorror flicks. Movies like "Devils Rejects" and "House of 1000 Corpses" combined genuine real life psycho characters with tongue-in-cheek humor that made the movie viewer feel in on the joke. These movies didn't take themselves very seriously, and while gory, were also at least a little bit fun to watch.

Zombie obviously tried to bring some of that camp levity to "Halloween II", notably by including "Weird Al" Yankovic in a cameo role, which helped a little. I think the movie could have used a lot more of "Weird Al" and a bit less of Mrs. Zombie (Zombie's wife played a leading role in this turkey, some type of angel of death as Jason's Mommy...don't ask, too stupid for words).

Unfortunately, this move really stunk. It was just bloody disembowelment after decapitation after evisceration. It was a stupid and bloody mess and a complete waste of time.

Stay away from this stinker.

Halloween II fmovies. John Carpenter's 1978 'Halloween' is wholly deserving of its status as a horror classic. To this day it's still one of the freakiest films personally seen and introduced the world to one of horror's most iconic villainous characters Michael Myers.

Its numerous sequels were wildly variable, with 'Halloween H20' being the only above decent one for me (the fourth one was also watchable but not much more) and 'Halloween: Resurrection' being proof that the series shouldn't have been resurrected and that it should have ended at 'H20', a perfect place to stop. Something that was further felt in Rob Zombie's awful first 'Halloween' outing from 2007. His second 'Halloween' film, this one, is even worse and even more pointless than its predecessor.

The only real good thing here is the make-up which is pretty good. Brad Dourif comes off best in the acting department and does his best but he deserves better and has been better too.

Everything else fails...and not just by a little. Catastrophically. The rest of the acting is scarier than Michael Myers himself (at his least creepy here) in how bad it is. Scout Taylor-Compton, in an embarrassingly appalling career-killing performance, and Sheri Moon Zombie, who should be nowhere near in front of a film camera, are especially bad. The film also brings the worst out of Malcolm McDowell, actually a good actor wasted in a very poorly written and used role.

All the characters are bland, annoying or both, nobody is remotely likeable here or worth rooting for (even those intended to be) and the dialogue down there with the worst of SyFy and The Asylum, and worse. The production values are too gimmicky, Zombie continually seems to think taking a self-indulgent smug approach to his directing is being cool and the music is constantly at odds with the mood and the action, nothing atmospheric or appealing here and more outdated attempts at being cool.

Overused and a vast majority of the time gratuitous expletives, artificial gore and sickeningly brutal violence completely get in the way of a coherent or engaging story, that's instead paper-thin, unintentionally silly, nonsensical, dull and contrived. As well as tension, suspense, chills or terror (none in sight). The whole Deborah and white horse stuff was not needed, felt completely misplaced and just added absurdity to the story, while the ending is as slap in the face a joke as it comes.

In summary, awful and had no point to it whatsoever. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Man Rob Zombie what got into your head? This is why the Halloween series in the 2000s suck! This is like a long rejected Rob Zombie music video. Bad story, bad script, bad plot, bad acting, and bad ending. This is worse than part 6, Resurrection, part 5, and the remake! My head hurts from writing this review. TERRIBLE MOVIE, SKIP IT! If you going to watch it, I recommend you skip the movie and watch the trailer instead.

This is has to be the worst Halloween movie of all time. The theatrical edition sucks and I bet the rest might be bad. Please don't buy this; this is a money grab. The slow motion scene sucks like their not scary in this film at all. The original Halloween II with Jamie Lee Curtis was better like they try hard in that film but in this Rob Zombie made the Halloween franchise a joke. I hope that new reboot is better than this garbage. 1.9/10