V/H/S Viral (2014)

The third installment in this fairly admired cult series, is not only the worst in the series, but maybe the worst film I've been subjected to in a year that has already seen two Adam Sandler and three Kevin Hart movies.

First off, if you don't know how these films are constructed, parts one and two use a framing device where characters (all amidst their own scary situations) watch found V/H/S tapes, which depict 3 found-footage, low budget horror short films (all from different directors). In "V/H/S: Viral" the three shorts are held together (like glue) by the story of a guy trying to film a supposed car chase, which becomes (from what I can decipher) a stupid commentary on the lack of coherent content in videos uploaded by teenagers that go viral, in this day and age. But wait, that doesn't sound like a plot which would contain a segment where someone watches V/H/S tapes. Well, that's because it doesn't. Here's my point: Would it be a valid criticism to say that in a movie called "V/H/S: Viral", the fact that it contains not one actual V/H/S tape throughout its 82 minute runtime, was a drastic misstep? I believe so.

But (you ask yourself) even though the glue of the film was lacking, maybe the short films throughout were its saving grace? Uhhh, NOPE! With low budget film techniques and visuals ranging from passable to downright hokey, there is absolutely no reason to watch this film; or read the rest of this review. But I guess, if you have nothing better to do, you can read on and find out more about the individual shorts "Viral" has to offer.

The first short, "Dante the Great", directed by Gregg Bishop, is about a lame magician, who finds a magical cloak and becomes a big star. But just like Audrey 2 in "Little Shop of Horrors", this cloak apparently needs to be fed. Verdict: Good premise, but poor visuals, with a story that goes nowhere.

The second short, "Parallel Monsters", directed by Nacho Vigalondo, sees my favorite premise, where a man creates a door to an alternate universe, only to have a conversation with his alternate self. During this conversation, they both agree to switch places for 15 minutes. Verdict: This short really had me leaning forward in my seat, until it suddenly took a sophomoric turn, choosing to focus on alien genitalia. The visuals in this short were also the worst of the three, as the genitalia in question were obviously hand puppets (puppetry of the penis?).

The third one, "Bonestorm", directed byÂ…oh, who cares; it's probably better that I don't divulge this directors name, since his short is by far the worst of the three. This GoPro driven story sees a handful of obnoxious punk skater-boys, who are teenagers and have guns for some reason. They decide to go to Tijuana after hearing about an "awesome skate spot". Problem is, this location happens to be the home of some of the strongest, yet weakest Mexican Satan worshipers ever put to film. From there, we see things get shot and hit with skateboards for way too long.

The biggest issue I had with these shorts was that not for one moment was I scared. And this was clearly advertized as a HORROR MOVIE. ITunes, can I have my money back? Final Thought: Even though I wasn't a vehement apologist of the last two films of the series, like other critics I know, the premises (for the most part) made sense. Yes, none of the actual videos have any sort of connection, but they never have. What I am

Fmovies: I went yesterday to "Motel X" (Horror movie festival) in S. Jorge movie theater in Lisbo, Portugal. When I got in theater room, I found out that first we would watch 1 short movie (Awfull... Can't even remember the name... It's about a cab driver that strangles a guy in the back seat. Then we would watch "All Cheerleaders Die", before the screening of V/H/S Viral. This Cheerleader movie is... kind of funny. Finally, after 2 hours V/H/S Viral starts... IT'S SOOOOO BAD THAT HURTS IN THE SOUL!!! I watched the other 2 V/H/S movies and the first one kicks ass! The 2nd one is not that bad, and this last movie... I can't find words to tell you how much disappointment I had in the end of the movie. I wish I had 4 hands... To give this movie 4 thumbs down...

I was a huge fan of the first two movies, they were fantastic and had a true sense of uniqueness to them. This movie had potential, but nothing was ever really explained and not only were we never introduced to the characters, but they were annoying. It was just a really weak movie, the segments didn't make sense individually, and the main story also made no sense. Also this one was a lot more high tech than the others so it didn't make much sense for it to be classified as "found footage", especially since some of the camera work was not done by someone involved in the segments, it would be shot from random angles that wouldn't make sense to be shooting from if you were just filming with a friend. It wasn't exciting or scary, and unlike the other two, I never got a laugh from anything about this movie other than how badly they messed it up. Waste of time and waste of 11 dollars.

V/H/S Viral fmovies. While I enjoyed the first installments of this series, this title is a steaming pile of crap, Don't waste your money like I did. If this is the best they can do then they should retire the series.

I was saddened to see what they did with a once proud installment of high quality found footage style movie.

They just phoned this one in, and it really stinks! I can't believe there was a meeting of suits that approved of a deviation from the original formula that was entertaining and profit generating formula.

Why do new production crew feel the need to tinker on a model that has proved to entertain and generate revenue?

This movie is so awful it put me in a bad mood. Stay away, and I say this as a guy with an original VHS poser.

The wraparound story tries to break formula but ends up being a mess. I'm fine with a mess if it's entertaining or scary, but this felt like it was shot in a weekend.

The first story doesn't feel like it belongs in a VHS movie and the tone doesn't match. It's something your mom would like.

The middle story starts out promising but manages to feel like a parody of itself by the end. My favorite (?) of the bunch.

The third story feels like it should be airing on MTV in 2003.

Another bummer is that the directors have done good movies (Resolution and Timecrimes), I don't know how they lost their mojo here.

Also, there are only three stories. I'm cool with a shorter movie if it's a better movie, but they cut the fourth. People speculate bit was axed because it was so bad. How terrible must it have been to be left out of this limp, toothless pile?

Any soul, any scary or funny from the first two is not here. Avoid.

I just created an IMDb account to tell people not to waste time on this hack of a movie. I am a huge VHS and VHS2 fan i thought both of them were amazing and i really liked how they changed up a very predictable genre. This movie is nothing like the first 2 except in that it is made of multiple stories. All of the stories are awful, offer no good scares and they never have no closure. The movie ends and your first reaction is to look around for a refund. I am extremely let down angry and disheartened because i had been watching the trailer for months with anticipation and was completely let down and i hope they never make another movie because i wont see it....please don't give these hacks your money. They don't deserve it and they just let down all their true fans. Such a waste of time. I hate them. I am owed an apology and refund