The Emoji Movie (2017)

The Emoji Movie is the worst movie I have ever seen in my hopefully short life. The funniest thing about this "jam packed comedy" was the fact that I was that nobody in the whole audience was laughing. The plot was predictable I felt no emotion towards a single character. The puns were poo quite literally. I had to apologise to my distraught family after taking them to see this film. I knew it would be bad but I didn't think it would be quite this bad. I am still in trouble from my wife for forcing her to put up with all 90 minutes of this predictably boring film.

Fmovies: This film rips off Wreck It Ralph, Inside Out, and The Lego Movie. The story was boring, the jokes were unfunny, HI-5 was more annoying and obnoxious than funny, and it portrays teens as phone addicts who can't go 5 seconds without their phones, even in class. While I may also be a teen who spends a lot of her time online, I get off when I need to. The animation is good, but good animation cannot save a bad film from being bad.

"Oh, but Galán, you're just not part of the film's target audience!"

I know that, but I'm also not part of the target audience for the films it rips off (Well I was when they came out) and I still enjoy them. Sony cancelled the Popeye movie for this, and the Popeye movie looked like it had more effort put into it, it looked more promising. I luckily didn't have to pay to see it, but to the fellows who rated 1 star and had to pay, I'm sorry.

So the only things I liked were the animation, and that the teens looked like actual teens rather than twenty-something year olds (while they cast adults to play teens in live-action teen movies, I've seen some animation where the teens still look like adults).

In what universe is it ethical to make a movie-length advertisement and then market it to children?

The Emoji Movie fmovies. I look for 3 things in a movie; Character, Dialogue and Plot. Does 'The Emoji Movie' have it ? Lets find out

INTRO Please...... lets just get this over with..... just know....... I am incredibly amazed.

CHARACTER Main character is Gene - played by T.J Miller - who is responsible for the 'Meh' emoji on a phone owned by a high school student called Alex. After he messes up, the emoji organisation (or something) hunts him down and he goes on the run. On his journey he meets the hand emoji called 'High Five' - played by James Corden..........brilliant (Not complaining about Corden, its just how bad the hand was). They discover that Gene is actually able to do more than just a 'Meh' action. They then meet Jailbreak - played by Anna Faris - who is like a mini hacker or something so she can fix Gene. Gene's parents also have a big part of the movie.......oh yeah, and Patrick Stewart plays the 'Poop' emoji...... None of these characters are likeable

DIALOGUE Jokes are just bad................... That's really all there is to say. There is a moment in the movie in this movie that just shocked me. The main characters are just about to go into the room that will help Gene and all of a sudden High Five spits out a piece if candy that he ate earlier and Gene just points at him and goes, "High Five....don't..........don't....*eats the candy* aww High Five". It's actually longer than that as I can remember. This scene was just cringe worthy from start to finish.

PLOT This movie is really boring from start to finish. I has no interest with Gene's problems, Alex's crush that he wants to get is so forgettable and worst of all, the emoji can not and never will be forgiven for being the WORST animated feature movie rip-off of another animated movie that is really good, and if you've seen it then you'd know it. That is, of course, disney's 'Inside Out' that only came out a couple of year's before this piece of trash.

OVERALL AND SCORE The Emoji Movie : Terrible = 1/10

If I was God, and I heard this product was not only being made, not only being promoted, but actually released, then I would invite Satan over to manage the heavens so I could personally eradicate my failure below. This is the sort of product - because this is not truly a movie, as the word "movie" is too suggestive of art - that corporations fawn over. And they did. Believe it or not, three major production studios *fought* to make this happen.

Of course, they wouldn't spend too much: Minions, a product almost as artless as this one, cost $74 million and runs for 91 minutes. In comparison, The Emoji Movie cost $50 mil and runs for 86 minutes. A 91-minute-long Emoji Movie would cost a mere $52.91 million; Sony cares less than the company that brought us screaming yellow screen- fever. They threw as little as they could at it.

But that's just the math. In order to fully appreciate how apocalyptic this wretched insult to all things sincere is, consider the following; You, the assumed person seeking entertainment, go to the movie theater expecting to take a break or have fun. And while the blatant advertising (Dropbox™ is an important plot point, there's a pointless scene with Just Dance, apps all around etc.) and banality may be entertainingly laughable, the very same slithery gargoyles that gave you this product get the money. They count their cash, and they think "Hey, that worked."

So they give you more of the same thing. And more of it. And more, until the idiocy is familiar and the ads the norm. It's already happened to music, with the same notes and lyrics repeated over and over again. Here we have the same situation staring us down, except instead of ass and cash the contents are something else they're trying to sell you.

The Emoji Movie is an ad that you pay to see. Of course product placement already exists in film. The Lego Movie and Toy Story both feature products as characters, but those films had heart and personality. Here, there is nothing but product placement. Anything resembling humanity is just padding for the next app to appear. How vile for a product that constantly tells you to "express yourself."

Do not watch this thing. Don't bring your kids to see it. Don't watch it ironically. Whatever your beliefs, biases, intentions, anything, do not give companies the thumbs up to feed us mediocre, heartless drivel.

No way anyone in their right mind and not being paid to would give this 10 stars.