ThanksKilling (2009)

There is no doubt that ThanksKilling is an absolutely godawful movie, I mean, it's supposed to be, which is why it is simply so good. It's cheesey, horribly written, incoherent, and the acting is obviously trash. Just see it for yourself, it's a nightmare of film you won't want to end.

Fmovies: I must be stupid because I was expecting an actual horror movie. It's not horror or a thriller and it's barely a comedy. All the comedy is in the fact that nothing makes sense. They tried hard to make it as dumb as possible, thinking that was funny. It really wasn't. I only laughed at the song the nerd sings about the redneck. But if you're going to watch watch a movie about a killer turkey you can't have high standards. I'm definitely going to watch the sequel.

From the very first Thanksgiving in 1621, the horror began! Now, centuries later, college kids on T-Giving break, find themselves up against pure hellishness in the form of perverted poultry. It seems that a dog owned by a Ted Nugent lookalike has peed on the wrong grave, bringing forth the fiendish, feathered fowl! Can these youngsters survive the night, with this homicidal pottymouth on the loose?

THANKSKILLING is every bit as preposterous as its supposed to be. Making the most of its nonexistent budget, it manages to be -almost- funny and gory enough to -somewhat- offset its deep schlock sensibilities. Blessedly short, it still feels longer than it is.

BOTTOM LINE: The turkey is humorous at times, while the non-actor humans are irritating beyond belief!...

ThanksKilling fmovies. ThanksKilling isn't a movie, or at least one that I should've even had the displeasure to see. It's like the bulls*** created by a couple of teenagers with two six-packs and a busted turkey puppet they probably thought was a chicken at first. I would like to think that the director, Jordan Stewart, has never picked up a camera before, but he has, a short film called Craw Lake, and apparently attended a film school. I can only imagine what would've happened if he had come to the old Student Film Association that was at my old university where I went as an undergrad. He would've been laughed and/or berated off of the premises if he tried to pass this off as anything than a failed experiment.

The worst thing about this tripe is that it knows that it's bad but then tries to pass itself off as a horror comedy. The problem is, as one saw to a lessor extent with another killer food movie like The Ginger-Dead Man, you need to actually have clever jokes or have a wicked visual sensibility like a Peter Jackson in his early days. Downey and his collaborator Stewart don't have that. They have terrible hack-writing (and FIVE writers, guess they're preparing for Hollywood with that), bargain-basement acting, and even what they're supposedly professionals at- special fx- are weak at best; one shot of a dead guy with his intestines hanging out just looks like a bunch of sausage-turds hanging out - and the shot lingers for five freakin minutes!

I don't want to trash on filmmakers who are just trying to make it in with something that may be sub-par but maybe they'll be on their way some day, but... this guy isn't even in that ballpark. There's such a lack of talent that the mind boggles: this barely qualifies at a movie, clocking in at just a little over an hour (somewhat mercifully, though it could've even been *shorter* if they'd cut out a couple of very unnecessary things). It's one thing that we can't take it seriously, fine, whatever, one can have fun with a dumb horror comedy. But how does one have fun with something that is so smug and so in-your-face with its bad comedy and character-tropes. Even simple crap like lining up shots and eye-lines and the direction of where characters (or poultry) speak is off-kilter. The only good thing about this movie being in existence is that Eli Roth needs no worry over his proposed feature version of his Thanksgiving trailer from Grindhouse.

It's so bad that... I hopefully won't remember it tomorrow.

Right, well when I found "ThanksKilling", it was with a certain amount of doubt that I picked it up and decided to give it a go. But there is that small voice at the far back of the mind that goes "go ahead, it might be surprisingly good" and that, more than often, does convince me to go for questionable movies.

"ThanksKilling" wasn't as bad as it could have been, so that was at least a step in the right direction. And I will say that the turkey made it worth watching the movie!

This was definitely a low budget horror in every aspect of the meaning, so don't get your hopes up for something grand here.

It was an interesting take on the storyline, predictable though. So it turned out that the plot and storyline was actually adequate for what it turned out to be.

"ThanksKilling" was weighed down by questionable acting performances though. Which was a shame, because that blasted killer turkey was such a blast to watch on the screen, and it definitely had potential.

If you manage to sit through "ThanksKilling" once, I doubt that you will do it a second time around, because the movie just doesn't have enough contents to support multiple viewings.

This ultra-super-duper-excessively cheap film is something you just need to see to appreciate. It starts a cheesy looking turkey puppet who goes on a murderous rampage--all during which he makes cheesy and occasionally funny comments. It also features the puppet having sex with a teen as well as one funny scene where he sits and has coffee with an off-duty cop and a song montage that made my brain hurt.

Considering that the folks who made "ThanksKilling" meant to make a bad film and had almost no budget whatsoever, it's a hard film to review. Yes, it is bad--but they knew they were making a bad movie when they made it and there is no attempt to make anything other than a very stupid film. So, if you do watch it, you should be the sort of person who likes terrible films AND you have a high tolerance for the vulgarity and deliberately gratuitous nudity. As for the nudity, I normally don't want it in films, but it was rather funny how they used it--as a way of making fun of the gratuitous nature of slasher films. As for the language, it's very, very crude and dumb...but again, that IS what they were looking for! This is NOT a film to show your mother or Father Jenkins (unless your mother or Father Jenkins are sociopathic murderers).

Impossible to really rate. See it and you'll see why. And, I really have no idea if I liked it or not!