Catwoman (2004)

I have slept through several action flicks (Batman, X-men, Charlies Angels, Matrix-Reloaded) and even a brief nod through Spiderman 1. However, not so with Catwoman. I was totally captivated by the action, Halle Berry's moves and the suspense of the 'what's going to happen next' storyline. I loved it. Ms. Berry played a sweet but confused Patience & a purrfectly sassy little Catwoman who was enviably beautiful & sexy (Loved that outfit! - not nasty but "Reerrw" Sexy) & I could actually feel for her. Ben Bratt was a cool, sexy cop - a wonderful protector-like match for Catwoman. Sharon Stone was beautiful although wicked. I will go to see it again, I have recommended it to all of my friends, I will buy the DVD so that I can watch it with my cat & I hope to see a sequel - Catwoman II.

Fmovies: Wow...I have never seen such horrendous footage in my life! I would normally never knock something without having seen it in its entirety, but this film is utter $hit! Put it back in the litter box and throw it out!

I've seen about 45 minutes of footage and it really looks like something someone did as a flash film and they thought "Hmm...this would look cool on film!!"

I think it's total and utter betrayal of the character's roots is bad enough, but to compound that by ripping off elements from other comic-based action films (The Crow, Spider-Man 1 & 2, etc.) is just adding more nails to this already sealed coffin.

The only positive reviews I have read seem to say that "It wasn't as bad as everyone said it was, but it was bad". That isn't a positive review. The only people who enjoyed this film are pre-pubescent guys who will never know the touch of a woman without shucking out a few hundred bucks for it.

This film is a disgrace to comics, movies, and mankind in general, and any woman who thinks this film is "empowering" is probably some young promiscuous woman will will be called "MAMA" before she hit age 17.

Beware this movie, and avoid it like the freaking' plague.

Directing 0/10, Writing 0/10, Cinematography 0.5/10, Editing 1/10, Acting 0.5/10, Overall Satisfaction 0/10

Final- 0.5/10

One word is brought to mind when thinking back to my viewing of, Catwoman- Crap. It might be inspired by my estimation of the film's display of only 12 minutes of living, breathing actors (which I will get into more below). Or it could possibly be inspired by the many errors that there wasn't even an attempt to cover, i.e.- Patience becomes Catwoman after wandering into a restricted area. How did she get into this restricted area, you ask? By walking through the door marked 'RESTRICTED AREA,' in bold, red text, which was simply unlocked and didn't even have a significant locking device on it. You know, I might've also hated the movie (not worthy of the word 'film') because of the pointless-undeveloped story line. And, really, it's not possible to look beyond the disgustingly audacious 'style' of one-named director, Pitof, which can only be described as the style of a headless chicken running through a maze of landmines. Oh, yes, said headless chicken is also being chased by angry natives wielding machetes.

I mentioned above that I estimated that only 12 minutes of living, breathing actors were shown during the entire 140 minutes of film. Almost every sequence of the movie featuring an actor seemed to be butchered by the insertion of CGI's. I'm dead serious. I'm not just talking high-flying, sucky action sequences- I'm talking scenes of Catwoman walking to a motorcycle and calmly getting on it, and the other one that immediately comes to mind is a sequence where a man (a baddie) is simply walking. Yeah, walking. It seems agents and managers are really watching over their clients these days.

Now, two questions I'm asking-

1) What is the point of Catwoman? What the [expletive] does she do?

It's explained in the film that Midnight, the 'magical' cat, chose Patience to become Catwoman, but something is wrong here- CATWOMAN HAS NO PURPOSE!! Every other superhero out there has a purpose- They save people! It seems Catwoman's only purpose is to kill the people who attempted to kill her and chase a cricket or two. There's nothing else to her!

2) Where is the REAL back story?

It sure as [expletive] wasn't in the film! Why wasn't she shocked and attempting to reason and deal with the emotional ass-kicking that would come with the revelation? She's told she's Catwoman by the cliché cat lady, she buys a mask and nails and the result is the 'superhero.' It's adds up, but not into anything of any value whatsoever. Shame on you terrible writers!

Halle Berry is a good actress. I'm not doubting or denying that. She fully deserved her Academy Award nomination and win for 2001's Monster's Ball, but something bad happened here. Her acting started awful and ended awful. I'm hoping the talents and reputation of Berry won't be harmed by her inadequate performance.

Now, My request to Halle Berry- Ms. Berry, I want my money back. I never thought I could see such a terrible performance from an Oscar winning actress. Maybe you were just doing your best with the material? But, you know, that really is not a valid excuse. After reading the screenplay, you should've thrown it in the face of the agent who dared display it to you. How could you not notice how awful it was? Make some better choices and hopefully your career

Catwoman fmovies. Oh my, where do I begin? Well I could tell you that this is a well made action movie, but obviously I would be lying my head off. So instead, I want to tell you the truth. Are you ready? Here it comesÂ… "DON'T SEE THIS MOVIE" Let me tell you why. If you see this movie and are over the age of 16, you will end up hating yourself for letting yourself rot for 104 minutes without getting anything back, except an increased feeling of wanting to get revenge on Hollywood. They say that it is very hard to get your script into a movie. Well, after seeing this movie, I think a one legged monkey could write a better script, without either pen or paper. The fact that Halle Berry even uses a male stunt double, makes me loose all respect for both her and this movie. Besides the stunt double thing, the movie still sucks. The dialog sucks, the acting is not even present and the action looks sloppy and poorly thought through. This movie actually made me like The Core better, which is pretty much impossible. I rate this movie 1/10

I liked it. OK, it wasn't the best film ever, and yeah, there have been better Catwomen (namely, Julie Newmar and Michelle Pfeiffer), but when you sit and watch it with no expectations, it's actually kind of cool.

From a superhero point of view it's a little one-sided- there aren't any real villains, at least, none who pose a real threat. Although Sharon Stone's character reminded me a tad of Poison Ivy, you know, super-beauty-products and all that jazz. But I quite liked that it showed how someone really quiet and shy can turn into a catty, sexy weirdo.

No offence meant to catty, sexy weirdos.

Catwoman has no real point to it, other than to explain how Patience gets her powers. It would be good if there was a follow-up where she beat Batman / Superman / Poison Ivy or whoever, but since the film did so badly this seems about as likely to happen as pigs flying, hell freezing over, and Ozzy Osbourne announcing a fondness for Girls Aloud. Which is a shame, because I didn't think the film was that bad.

They'd have been better off doing a spin-off from the Batman flicks with Michelle P (or a lookalike) as Catwoman, so the back story wouldn't be necessary.

Don't hate me for loving Catwoman. Please?

Oh, where to start...imagine all the intellectual depth of Showgirls, plus all the excessive and ridiculous special effects of Charlie's Angels, and then throw in some dialog crafted by whomever wrote for Governor Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze in the fourth Batman movie, and only then are you even close to a movie as awful as this.

I suppose one should not expect much from a director who actually refers to himself as Pitof. But let's come back to that. Let's move on to Halle Berry. Note to Halle Berry: Letting Billy Bob Thornton ream you endlessly on camera is certainly degrading, but it was also a good career move--and you won an Oscar; feverishly eating catnip and licking people's faces on camera, however, is not a good career move--and you'll probably win a Razzie this time. They make you return Oscars for movies like this. Oh yeah, as for the supernatural explanation for Patience Phillips/Catwoman's superhero status--she gets CPR from an immortal Egyptian cat--I am not kidding.

And then there is Benjamin Bratt, who happens to be a pretty solid actor, but could have very likely damaged a good career. If his participation in this movie isn't enough to stigmatize him, then I'm sure he had to pass up a lot of good roles because of all the time he spent having his foot surgically removed from his former agent's rectum. There is a scene in this movie--probably the worst, and that's no small achievement--that is reminiscent of that ridiculous scene in Daredevil where Jennifer Garner/Elektra and Ben Affleck/blind superhero have a Kung Fu fight at a playground in broad daylight; in this movie it's Halle Berry and Ben Bratt playing one-on-one hoops and her doing Catwoman flips and yet no one appears to be too amazed by this, much less pants-soiling surprised, and on top of that it has a sort of VH1/Color Me Bad/early New Edition video feel to it. And I'm really not sure what city this is all supposed to take place in--Gotham, Metropolis, the land beneath the whole in the cutting room floor--but apparently this place only has one detective, the unfortunate Bratt. No matter what the crime is--burglary, murder, domestic disturbance, interrupted ballet performance--he's always there.

As for the rest of the cast, that annoying woman from Mad TV--I know that's not specific enough; I mean the most annoying one who plays what I guess is supposed to be some bizarre Asian lady--well, she plays Catwoman's annoying and sort of slutty co-worker comic relief since Rosie O'Donnell was apparently unavailable.

And then we come to Sharon Stone. Now I know her career is going down the crapper with all deliberate speed, but it's still hard to understand this one. The only thing I can guess is that the opportunity to break into silly, pseudo-feminist diatribes made this a role she couldn't turn down. Of course Sharon has often lamented the lack of good roles for older women in Hollywood, and she's absolutely right about that, but this is not the best way to lodge a complaint, and plus that's always been a little peculiar coming from an actress whose greatest cinematic achievement is the conspicuous exposure of her labia.

Briefly back to this Pitof character--I thought that pretentious one-named idiot who did the Charlie's Angels movies--McG, I believe--was bad enough, but this guy is even more shameless and obviously lacking in talent. What's with these guys who've never made a movie and are already going by only one name? D